So I wasn't planning on blogging so soon, but I was tossing and turning half the night with this one rattling around in my head. I actually promised this blog to my good friend, Becky, 9 or 10 months ago, but never did it. As an EXTREME people person (to the point that it becomes detrimental, sometimes) I struggle with letting friendships go. I often care more about what others think of me than I care about my own well-being. Enter Joel Osteen.

Have you ever watched this guy? I actually like a lot of what he has to say, so don't get me wrong. But he's a televangelist with the flittiest eyelids you'll ever see. I have trouble watching him because his eyelids distract me, but late at night when I'm trying to find something to go to sleep to, it's usually either him (I don't have to look at him if I'm trying to go to sleep!), Conan O'Brien, Fox News, or Stephen Colbert. One night what he said really caught my interest, though.

I had just moved from Sioux Falls, SD back to Ohio and was struggling with my friends from SD being upset with me because I couldn't keep up with all of them. I just don't have time to write everybody, and I was beginning to feel like I was a bad person for not keeping up with everyone. Enter Joel. His message that night was how God sometimes places people in your life "for a season". I have a number of friends who don't believe in God, so if you're reading this, apply however you want. This one isn't a God-debate blog. ;) Anyway, Joel said that if you try to maintain that friendship after the "season" is over, you could actually be hurting yourself more! People pleaser that I am, this thought really ticked me off. How can you just wave "good-bye" to someone who is a friend? What kind of a friend would THAT be?

Then he made his point. I put it into a sort of mathematical equation so it made sense to me. If what I am doing to maintain this friendship is detrimental to the friendship, the friendship needs to not be maintained. If the maintenance of the friendship is greater than the new calling/purpose on your life and it prevents you from your purpose or from moving on to new things, then the friendship needs to be reevaluated. I always worry about if I'm being a good friend to others, and VERY rarely stop and say, "is this hurting me and my potential?"

I've had a number of "seasons" in my life, and I make good friends typically because I try to be a good friend to LOTS of people. It's how I'm wired. I still remember Mark Murray from church in elementary school when I lived in Bourbonnais, IL. I also had Andre and Mike and Mike from the same town who I went through Junior High with. Then I moved to Athens, OH and made a lot of friends at Athens High School - mostly from the marching Green and Gold. Then off to college at Indiana Wesleyan University and 5 years of THOSE friends coming and going. Then back to Athens and teaching at Alexander High School, where I made good friends of parents, students, members of my church, and more! Then on to Columbus, OH where I had all NEW friends at church and school. Then out to South Dakota where I was a pastor for a year and made friends at that church. Then I left that position and went to a NEW church with even MORE new friends. And now I'm back in Columbus, OH making MORE new friends!

If I tried to maintain all of my Junior High friendships AND be friends with all of the OTHER "seasonal" friends I have had, I'd NEVER have time for anything else! I can still say that those people will always be "friends" to me, and I have VERY fond memories, but lives change and people move on, and only a select few get to move on with you, or you'll end up hurting yourself and the new friends you have yet to meet because you don't have time for them. You need to look and decide, "is this person worth maintaining a close friendship with, even though we're miles apart/years removed/lifestyles different?"

I have to believe Jesus made GOOD close friends. I wonder if He ever looked back at His elementary years and thought, "man, I feel bad for not keeping up with old Josias." I have a feeling Jesus held onto those memories of Josias (I just made that name up - don't look for anything significant there), smiled about them for a while, and then closed the proverbial scrapbook until next time, because He had work to do. He had 12 new friends He needed to love and care about (that he didn't meet until He was around 30, btw!), and lots of people to minister to, and lots of life to live.

I say all of this, and I believe it's all relevant and true, but then along comes Social Networking! (Facebook, Myspace, blogs, IM, Twitter, etc.) Talk about throwing things for a loop! That's my teaser for my next blog in this 3 part mini-series (I said I was up half the night pondering this!)

Until next time, have an AWESOME day!