This one is a bit personal, but I'm really super excited about it. July 20th is the day I change the way I see myself and my life. I'm reading a pretty amazing book called, "The Hole in Our Gospel" by Richard Stearns. The things I'm reading have helped me put into words and actions what I've been struggling with and feeling for the past few months.

Some of you are good friends and know my heart and a lot about me, so don't read this and assume I'm a totally different person or I've gone off the deep end. If you are NOT a close friend, know that this is NOT all I am. I am summarizing some thoughts and feelings and putting it out there for others to see. If you take stuff out of context and assume something that isn't true, that's your problem, not mine. Ok... enough with the disclaimers. ;)

When I was getting ready to move to Pickerington and getting prepared to begin and plant a church, I was asking God for something to hang onto - some confirmation, some hope. I had Isaiah 60 stuck in my head and couldn't get rid of it, so I went and read it. In a nutshell it talks about thousands of people coming home and God's light shining for all to see. That got me pretty excited! I could care less if ANYONE decides to follow my religion or comes to my church, but I want God to shine through EVERYTHING I do and for people to be able to "come home".

But then I got here to Pickerington and things changed. Within a few months we determined that I was not going to be planting a church as planned, but I was going to help with the church in Grove City. Then we decided that we may not plant in Pickerington at all. Then my pay was drastically reduced. Then I lost my job. What the heck? What happened to Isaiah 60?!!

Well, as I was reading "The Hole in Our Gospel", I ran across a section about Isaiah 58. You can't have Isaiah 60 without 58 now, can you? Oh yeah - so I read 59, too. Goes hand in hand with 58. it says (again, in a nutshell), "They act like a righteous nation, delighted to learn about God, and they wonder why He isn't listening to their prayers, and God says because you don't free the oppressed, share food with the hungry, give shelter to the homeless, and because your sins have cut you off from God." Now, I don't think I'm as bad as the Israelites Isaiah is referring to in 58 and 59, but I wonder if the Israelites thought they were all that bad.

All I can say is, who have I fed lately, or clothed, or visited in prison? Have I been following all of God's callings, or just the ones I feel like following? There's a quote from John Ortberg in this book (wow - Brian is quoting Richard Stearns quoting John Ortberg - how deep does the rabbit hole go?) that I want to share:

American society does not talk much about calling anymore. It is more likely to think in terms of career. Yet, for many people a career becomes the altar on which they sacrifice their lives.
A calling, which is something I do for God, is replaced by a career, which threatens to become my god. A career is something I choose for myself; a calling is something I receive. A career is something I do for myself; a calling is something I do for God. A career promises status, money or power; a calling generally promises difficulty and even some suffering - and the opportunity to be used by God. A career is about upward mobility; a calling generally leads to downward mobility.

Wow. I've spent the past two months worried about my career, and very little time thinking about what God wants me to do. Here's the crux of the issue: If God cares about the lilies and the sparrow, and He cares even MORE about me, why do I spend so much time worrying about my job or where my next paycheck is coming from? Here's the part where some of you are going to accuse me of going off the deep end. I am not suggesting that I wander through life waiting for God's handouts and blow off taking care of myself and my family. That would indicate laziness and sloth. HOWEVER, I have to quit trusting in my every other week paycheck (my god) and start trusting the one who provides for me, no matter how sporadic my paychecks end up being.

I also have to start thinking about what God is CALLING me to do. He's not calling me to sit on my butt all day, that's for sure. He wants me to help people! He has thousands of people He's planted me in the middle of who are BEGGING for help, and so far I haven't noticed or cared enough to do anything about it. That ends today. I want the promises God offers to those who help their fellow man, those who make a difference in the lives of those around them. That's the God that makes sense to me, and that's the kind of Church I want to work with.

So today I begin my Isaiah 58-60 trek. Today I trust God to take care of me and my family, because frankly He cares more about me and my family than I ever will. Today I plant the Church God called me to plant - RIGHT HERE IN PICKERINGTON. But it won't be a church with walls and ceilings and artificial crosses, it will be a Church without walls and, as of right now, will only consist of my family, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord! God has called me to plant this Church, and I am going to do whatever it takes to reach people and meet them where they need it, not where I feel comfortable. I've shared with many of you my desire to build a "rescue shop an inch from Hell". I've determined that inch from Hell is all around me and God is ready to start using me. He's been ready for a LONG time, but now I'm ready to really listen and do things HIS way.

I'll be honest, I'm scared. This is not where I feel comfortable. I already feel like God is asking me to volunteer at a school nearby. VOLUNTEER?! "Wait, God... I have bills! What the heck? I can't spend my time volunteering when I have mouths to feed!" That's what my head tells me. But my heart reminds me that THIS IS FOR GOD, and I need to focus on Him and His Plan, not my own.

I hope you don't all call me or message me trying to knock some sense into me, because frankly, I haven't felt this at peace and this Spirit-led in years. What would happen if we all put our selfish ambitions aside and cared for our neighbors, our city, our state, our country, and our world? What would happen if we all answered the question, "What do you do for a living?" with, "I care about people like Jesus taught us to do."

There - I've put it out there. I'll be giving periodic updates about my crazy experiment. Here - maybe I should give you my starting point: Hi, I'm Brian. I don't have a job. I don't have health insurance starting August 1st. I have a wife and 3 kids. I have a house payment, student loans, and a few other payments I deal with monthly. My wife works part-time. I will be working part-time at a school I'm called to teach at come September. I give lessons to people God has sent my way. But mostly, I care about people and trust God to supply for all my needs, LITERALLY.

Time to wrap this up. In about 20 minutes I need to walk outside and see how my Church's neighbors are doing. I hope someday they'll join my Church, just like I hope any of you who read this will do, whether you live in Pickerington or not. I believe it's time we decided to reach out a loving hand to a world in need, don't you?